My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Finished on June 17, 2021
Favorite Scene/Quote: "They had managed to misgender themself again, and honestly, it was getting old."
I am trying to read more books with nonbinary main characters, and I was very happy that I managed to stumble across this book. I thankfully received a review copy from Netgalley and the publisher, Nine Star Press, in exchange for a fair and honest review. I was quite pleased with this book because it wasn’t overly angsty, but there was some angst that provided a driving force.
Ash is nonbinary genderfluid (I’m using both, because both are used in the book). They are trying to explore their feminine side more with the help and support of Bei Bei, their best friend. They meet Nolan one day when they are presenting masculinely, and they have a crush on them. They also happen to meet Nolan when they are presenting femininely, and Nolan asks them out. Ash can’t quite tell, but doesn’t think, that Nolan knows that Ash and Ashley are the same person. Ash is anxious to tell him until he can figure out whether Nolan is going to react poorly to the news.
One of the biggest compliments I have for this book is about Ash. They are an anxious hot mess and I love it. At times it might seem a bit annoying that they keep jumping to the worst conclusions, but that’s anxiety for you. Ash is a college student still trying to get used to their identity, and I genuinely adored them. They were a character that reminded me a lot of me. They are realistic and have their faults. They jump to the wrong conclusion and can be overly judgy, but they aren’t a bad person because of this. They’re just a person.
I really liked all of the characters in this book. Ash is a hot mess I adore. Nolan seems a bit too perfect, but he seems so honestly sweet that it’s hard to dislike him. Bei Bei, Ouma, and Gabe are great supporting characters. Everyone needs a best friend like Bei Bei. Also, while I know this book is focused on Ash and Nolan’s relationship, I want to know more about Bei Bei’s developing relationship.
I am a huge fan of how this author portrayed Ash’s anxiety and fears. I’ve had these same thoughts and I don’t often get to see them written on the page like that before. The thoughts about someone finding out and hurting me, people within the community reacting poorly. All of these are thoughts I’ve had and likely many other transgender, nonbinary, and genderfluid people have had as well. I loved it.
I only had a couple of problems with this book, and they were both relatively minor. I feel like we spent a bit too much time in Ash’s thoughts. I know it’s written in first-person, but it would have been nice to have some of those thoughts talked out instead. Also, I wish this book were longer because it feels like it is missing something. I’m not sure what, but I feel like it’s missing more bonding time between Nolan and Ash or more time where Ash and Ashley are separate entities to Nolan. There were also a couple of lines that just didn't make sense to me, but only a couple and I was able to read around them.
This book, to me, feels like a short, sweet summer read. It’s not exactly a long book, though I don’t know how long it is in pages, but it’s a cute read. Nothing too angsty, a sweet ending, and likeable characters.
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